LAST OF THE SEASON

fall is forging ahead regardless of the fact that it canNOT possibly be fall...summer was too fast...we must have lost some days in the calendar.
but regardless of how fast i feel time has gone....it is moving....the low fog envelops us each morning...even now, it is hugging the foothills of the cascades, the storms are beginning...last night sending thunder and lightning to our door, the leaves are beginning to change...their last glorious act before falling to the ground.
the thing i am mourning the loss of today is the late summer blackberries....i LOVE them. this morning, i ventured outside in my pajamas to wade through the dewy grass and fog and fill a bowl with blackberries one last time...i got just enough to cover my cereal and they were delicious....and i will miss them, until next year.

SKORTS FOR GROWN UPS

ministering to the older generation is often a tremendous blessing...and sometimes a real pain.
one more mention of the skirt and someone gets hurt!

MYSPACE OF THE DEAD

i've gotten into a strange habit...whenever i see someone has died that is relatively young and dies of strange circumstance (like the college girl from seattle u who fell from a cliff while hiking in chile or the SAD story about the couple in portland that killed themselves and their five year old daughter due to the wife's cancer this weekend) i go to myspace and look at their page. it is so bizarre - to see the comments that say things like, "we miss you so much," "why did you do this..."
i feel as though it is reminding me of the hopelessness that is so pervasive that i - as a representative of God's love (as all Christians should be) - need to be fighting...or perhaps it is only morbid curiosity...most likely both.
apparently, i am not alone: www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/07/30/dying.on.the.web.ap/

GODDESS

this week a little girl in my church was on the internet...she called over her shoulder to ask her mother what "goddess" meant. her mother - trying to give her the short answer - simply said, "a female god." the little girl thought for a moment and said...."you mean like bethany?" exactly.

ISONIAZID

been taking the drugas for TB exposure for about a week now...so far, so good. i have yet to experience anything negative. it is a little weird to follow the diet guidelines, but i am just considering it sort of an extended fast from certain things. nine months is a long fast, but i am up to the challenge.
the good news is, once i am finished with the prescribed dose, i will not have to worry that the TB that is currently doormant in my body will ever come out and bother me. that is a great blessing - as is the fact that i can care for those who have full blown TB without fear of contamination...they wouldn't be giving me anything i do not already have.
anyway - things are going well so far...so thanks for the prayers...

LONG BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND

beau and i had a beautiful weekend....finished up our wall hanging project (you have to come to our house to check it out), went on an amazing hike up mt. sauk - 360 degree views of mt. ranier, mt. baker, mt. pilchuck, three fingers...the skagit river valley - awesome...had my parents spend the night and come to church on sunday, went to the island and got some qt with the fam and hung out in the sculpture garden and jackson beach....good times.

"if the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. if it were merely challenging that would be no problem. but i arise in the morning torn between a deisr to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. this makes it hard to plan the day." -e.b. white

HERE GOES NOTHING

the title of this post may, in fact, prove prophetic...hopefully it does not. i have begun this morning on a labor that God has put on my heart for a few years...a bit of writing that may form itself into a book or papers...or perhaps just something for nieces and nephews and grandchildren to peruse long after i am gone. only God knows...
peace to you all...hope is in my head and in my heart...i pray the same for you.

If this brings You glory — if souls are brought to you — with joy I accept all to the end of my life. —from a letter from Mother Teresa to Jesus, undated

HUGS NOT DRUGS!

many of you know that there has been some "resistance" to me being the lead pastor of this church (you know...i am a GIRL!). it has been hard, but a good lesson in suffering and loving and forgiving...
there has been one person in particular that has seen it as a personal project to undermine me....with letters left on front porches of members, huge packets sent to my district superintendent, and anti-girl clergy rhetoric passed out in the foyer.
but this weekend we had a breakthrough...
we had a memorial time for a relative of this person...miracle number one: she came, miracle number two: she stayed through the sermon...miracle of all miracles: she spoke to me and HUGGED me after the service. it was such a suprise blessing to me...i had resigned myself to her hating me and then she was able to - in Christian love - reach beyond her convictions and embrace me...it was beautiful.
for those of you whom i've spoken to about this situation - you know how heavily it has laid on my heart. it was such a wonderful thing to know that God has been working His LOVE into this situation...from both sides.

UNCLEAN

as a part of the process of becoming an on-call chaplain at skagit valley hospital, i was required to take a tuberculosis test. it is a simple procedure where a needle injects into your arm and you are to watch it for 48 hours - if, after 48 hours, it is red and raised, you have been exposed to tuberculosis and must have a chest x-ray to determine if you have spots on your lungs.

48 hours ago i had the test...and my arm has a large red, raised welt on it where the needle went in...over twice as large as a result that would beg a chest x-ray. this does NOT mean i have TB (i am also NOT contagious), but it does mean i have been exposed to it and may have to take this nasty medicine that messes with the liver and it also means that i will have to "register" with whatever county i am living in...crazy!

in my usual hypochondriac manner, i was already planning a lung transplant as i changed into the hospital gown to have my chest x-ray this afternoon...beau, in his usual calm, cool and collected manner, looked at me incredulous when my eyes got huge and scared...

i was most likely exposed to it on some of my gallivanting journeys around the globe - perhaps in the escuela juan wesley for disabled kids in santiago, chile, or the andes of ecuador...maybe the rio frio of nicaragua...but 6 months of meds was worth every minute of it.

pray for my lungs...while you are at it, pray that my asthma goes away too...that would just be more than i could bear.

WHY NOT FIRE

this excerpt from the wisdom of the desert is definately going to find its way into my sermon this sunday...peace to all....

Abbot Lot came to Abbot Joseph and said: Father, according as I am able, I keep my little rule, and my little fast, my prayer, meditation and contemplative silence; and according as I am able I strive to cleanse my heart of thoughts: now what more should I do? The elder rose up in reply and stretched out his hands to heaven, and his fingers became like ten lamps of fire. He said: why not be totally changed into fire?
-from the wisdom of the desert translated by thomas merton