MY LONG LOST FRIENDS

they are here...poking their heads bravely out of the earth...they seem to know, as does my dog's winter coat, that spring is coming.
my lenten rose is also blooming (picture above)....what a clever little rose...lent has only just begun.

LENT

my right thumbnail still has a faint grey line from the ashes of ash wednesday. no manner of scrubbing and scraping could get those last few particles out...they linger to remind me of the foreheads that i touched. it is always so intense to mark the heads of the congregation. these are not people who are anonymous to me - they are people that i LOVE - it is exceedingly difficult to remind them that they are dust and to dust they will return. and, most likely, when they return to dust it will be me who says the last prayer over them, me who touches that same forehead with anointing oil, me who says the final amen before their coffin descends into the earth.
it is with great mourning and yet great hope that i approach lent...for we NEED Christ so desperately...and i know that my only hope...the only hope of my precious congregation comes in the resurrection of Jesus. so, although difficult to mark the foreheads of the big ones and little ones with the ashen cross, i can give them REAL hope - hope that will never disappoint.

therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. -Romans 5:1-5

may God remind you every day of this season of your deep need of Him.

STUPID THEOLOGY

my husband just informed me that there are christian groups who are claiming that heath ledger died tragically at the age of 28 because he played a gay man in brokeback mountain. this is the stupidest theology i have ever heard...
as a pastor, people are constantly coming to me upset because "how can bad things happen to good people..." everyone has countless examples of wonderful people who were stricken with horrible maladies...
interesting how quickly some will interpret the most basic and universal consequences of living in a fallen world - death, sickness, crazy and unintentional overdoses of sleeping medication for a depressed and tired young man - as God's judgment against the individual when God has already cast His final judgment on humanity...and His arms were nailed open to do so...proving God's love.
IF God were going to kill someone for something (which in the free will He has given us does not come into play) i think we would need to look at someone who has perpetrated ACTUAL evil (i'm thinking along the lines of child rape, murder, perhaps genocide) and not an artist who was simply holding a picture of our culture in front of our eyes.

LIFE THAT IS LIFE

i've been sick for two days...not having more energy than what i needed to squeak out the things i've HAD to do - like go to the bathroom or let the dog out or do the one or two things for church that could not wait...
sickness flattens and humbles me - it reminds me how blessed i am most of the time and how often i take it for granted.
so tonight i go to sleep hoping that tomorrow i will feel better...that my body will not ache and my throat will not feel as though a blow torch has seared it....tomorrow morning i may awake and have the energy to take my beautiful dog for a walk and enjoy the sunshine that got mistakenly sent to the light starved northwest in january (or perhaps this sunshine has been a mercy...)...perhaps all light and life is nothing but mercy.

2008

oh...is it 2008 already?
the year is off and roaring...
more on that later...for now, a beautiful truth:

GOD'S GIFTS PUT OUR BEST DREAMS TO SHAME. -elizabeth barrett browning

THE BIRTH OF LIGHT

i am stunned. sitting here in my office...snow on the foothills, dog asleep at my feet...i have worked every day for 16...17.... or 18 days, i can't remember. the church is quiet, except for the blowing of the heat. the nativity is frozen in awe, the lights and poinsettias are perky and bright. sunday is planned...christmas eve is prepared for...and i am stunned. stunned that God could come to earth and that i get to proclaim it. stunned that Christmas came so fast. stunned.

here are a couple of beautiful advent meditations from ann weems', kneeling in bethlemen, for you...whether you are stunned or not. peace and merry christmas!

IN SEARCH OF OUR KNEELING PLACES
In each heart lies a Bethlehem, an inn where we must ultimately answer whether ther is room or not.
When we are Bethlehem-bound we experience our own advent in His.
When we are Bethlehem-bound we can no longer look the other way conveniently not seeing stars not hearing angel voices.
We can no longer excuse ourselves by busily tending our sheep or our kingdoms.

This Advent let's go to Bethlehem and see this things that the Lord has made known to us.
In the midst of shopping sprees let's ponder in our hearts the Gift of Gifts.
Through the tinsel let's look for the gold of the Christmas Star.
IN the excitement and confusion, in the merry chaos, let's listen for the brush of angels' wings.
This Advent, let's go to Bethlehem and find our kneeling places.

IT IS NOT OVER
It is not over, this birthing.
THere are always newer skies into which God can throw stars.
When we begin to think that we can predict the Advent of God, that we can box the Christ in a stable in Bethlehem, that's just the time that God will be born in a place we can't imagine and won't believe.
Those who wait for God watch with their hearts and not their eyes,
listening
always listening
for angel words.

UNKIND

i am continually amazed at people's capacity to be unkind. it makes me so sad and frustrated.

but...as mother teresa encouraged, i will refuse to allow the poison of unkindness, bitterness, and unforgiveness to touch my heart...

DO IT ANYWAY
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

BLESSED

some of the beautiful things in my life...

FIRE IT UP

Thank you, God, for infusing our world with Your Light.

Christ's love is always stronger than the evil in the world, so we need to love and to be loved: it's as simple as that. -M. Teresa

He is Love....FIRE IT UP.

IN THE GROUND

my niece, macalister, was pretty obsessed with things going "in the ground" for a while after their alpaca, midnight, died. she used it as a euphamism for death..."mom, when i go in the ground, i want you and daddy to be with me." how very ancient egyptian of her.

today we put marty in the ground. her graveside service was cold and sad...i spoke all of the beautiful things that i could - Scripture, prayer, eulogy - and we cried and said goodbye. no one wanted to leave...

finally, we left her casket there...yellow and pink flowers covering the top. it was all very sterile looking from the outside. but when i looked closely, i could see the dirt carved away...under the beautiful casket, beneath the chrome lowering mechanism....there it was, the ground.

Into your hands, O merciful Savior, we commend your servant Marty. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech you, a sheep of your own fold, a lamb of your own flock, of sinner of your own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of your mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of the saints of life. In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our sister, Marty, and we commit her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless her and keep her, the Lord make his face to shine upon her and be gracious unto her, the Lord lift up his countenance upon her and giver her peace. Amen.