ODD LIFE

do you know how it feels to have people look at you quizzically when you tell them what you do for a living...even if they've known you since you were a toddler (especially if they only knew you in high school or college or some other time in life that should be struck from the record)...that when they realize what you do they begin to watch what they say - start to try and put their non-cussing vocab forward and pretend...because they think that is what they are supposed to do with clergy...and then they will either push you away or tell you something that they would never tell any other normal person EVER even though they just met you...stuck between no one's friend and too much intimacy...stuck between avoided and confronted for answers...stuck between being expected to have the right answer every time for every situation and then being held accountable for every wrong that a person feels that God has dealt them...it is an odd life...this life of proclaiming the Good News. i didn't realize fully how much of me would have to die...has to still, continually die for me to do this...i have to be willing to be thought strange, be willing to be thought crazy or simple minded...be willing to listen when it is hard and have grace when pushed away....willing to do these things so that someone, anyone might know how deeply they are LOVED. this is a very odd life i lead...i pray every day for the grace to live it in a way that might bring glory...